It's not a full moon

Yesterday I had my fair share of cooky encounters. First, at work (my day job) this short little mexican man with no front teeth kissed my hand and told me how beautiful I was in broken english. Then he started rubbing the back of my hand on his cheek. He was old enough to be my grandpa so I didn't really think he was a creep. Then later this woman came in and as fast as she could speak she spouts out " this is a stick up I want 1 million dollars in unmarked biils hey you've got my birth stone on your shirt I was born in August and my mom said I was a chosen one cause I was in high school I was in this horrible car wreck that pushed my left eye back in to my head and I've had 3 surgies to correct it and I've got to have 2 more my first one corrected my left eye and my second one (she starts popping her jaw and it was loud) corrected my broken jaw and you know I wear this cross to keep Jesus with me but you know I never complain and htprsbitwmslmb (some stuff I didn't quite hear although she was right in my face with onion breathe) so where can I go to register for classes cause if you give me wrong information I'll be back to get you." All in one mind-numbing run-on sentence.

I started a new meeting last night as a receptionist. My leader is this over done mid 40ish Barbie doll. She has big blonde hair, lips that are so full of collagen they look as though they could blow at any time. I think the only thing keeping her lips from exploding is the massive layers of this ugly lipstick she had caked on. Her boobs are pushed up to her chin and and she wore the loudest shades of orange and yellow yesterday with matching accessories. Crazy. She didn't seem to like me very much. I heard her say something to her Igor-looking friend under her breath and then when she saw me look over and she stopped and her icky friend said "just tell me later." My trainer didn't like her either so it evened out. all night she kept saying "oh I'm having a blonde moment" and at one point my trainer (she's an older lady and a lot like me) said "well you don't have to be blonde to know this" and I appreciated that. Barbie gave me the keys to the building and she hadn't even known me for 5 full minutes and then she's all "don't lose these cause I'm responsible for them" and I'm thinking why would you hand these over to a total stranger who isn't even an official employee yet? She really is blonde. She's trying to make me think that I have to pick up all the supplies for the meeting and my trainer said that it's always the responsibility of the Leader to get supplies so she was busted there but she just pretended that "that's how they do it in California" (she just moved to AZ from CA last week.) Her little (literally) friend had a limp and a hump and she just followed Blondie around all night doing everything she told her to. It was pretty pathetic.