Perhaps I need to be medicated

One of the biggest struggles I've had in my life is that I hide my true feelings from people for fear of scrutiny or hurting people's feelings. Basically I dont' want people not to like. I put on a happy face until no one is watching and then I vent, usually alone in my car. I've discussed this before. I'd like to think I'm making an effort to tell people how I really feel and say what's really on my mind instead of agreeing or sugar coating things but I know that will be a tough habit to break. But some dude once said a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step or something to that effect. Anywho, I think I've suppressed my moods for so long that now they are boiling over. First my crazy mood swing from hell with the Corina thing last week. that was scary enough how I ran with my feelings. It felt good. But then yesterday I threw the biggest tantrum in my office. Chad's cell phone stopped working and so I called in a new one and we have 7 days to get the busted one back to the cell phone people before they charge us for the new phone. They even sent Chad a threatening text with a charge of $400. So we got his new phone last Friday. By Tuesday the old phone was still sitting there. I took it with me to work to give it to my good-for-nothing UPS driver. I wasn't there when he came and Corina didn't read the label and kept it thinking it was something that hadn't been opened for the previous day. I yelled out "why didn't the driver take my package?!?!" and she told me it was her fault. No biggie so I took it to the UPS store but had already missed their daily pickup so instead of just leaving it I took it with me to give to my good-for-nothing UPS driver on Thursday. Well we can't seem to hold on to a decent driver as our stop is on a trainging route. So the driver that delivered on Thursday didn't bother to come down to the bookstore, he just left all our stuff at the loading dock and didn't bother to check if anything was going out. So I get back from lunch and I am satisfied that my box is no longer in the building. Then Jim, our dock dude, strolls in with my box, "yeah, this didn't make in out today..." and before he could finish I threw my arms up in the air "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! why not, what was that jackasses excuse? why can't this damn box just go to where it needs to go? jesus christ what does it take?" and poor Jim was shocked. I've know him for the entire time I've worked on my campus and he's never seen my act like that. He tried to take the blame and even offered to drive it down to the UPS store himself at that moment but I told him that it wasn't his fault or his responsibility and that I would handle it. He probably thought I was having a psychotic episode.... and I guess..... I was. Corina saw the whole thing and she told me that Jim sorta jumped back and looked frightened. I didn't notice with all the red I was seeing. I was sort of embarrassed but then I stopped and realized my reaction was natural and in my eyes justified so now I'm conflicted as to whether I over-reacted or if my natural feelings are best even if they do scare grown men? I'm not sure. Either way I finally got it to the UPS store in time later that day...in case you were wondering.