All is quiet on the western front

Everyone is out of town. I mean just about everybody. It is very quiet and really boring all by myself. I find myself staring off in to nothing with a blank look on my face and I realize hours have gone by and I haven't spoken to anyone or done anything. It's like a ghost town. Karin keeps me company, mostly on the phone and were it not for her I may have already gone mad. The other night I was so bored I started organized my things and I ran across the last journal I kept from when I was 18. I had kept many journals starting from age 10 or so until 18. My mom found it once and read it and I was so upset that she invaded my private thoughts that I stopped writing. She thought I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing and I wasn't but she didn't know that until after she had read it and by that point I was so pissed that I just didn't want anyone going in to my brain uninvited ever again. I've been blogging for 3 years now and this has been my journal sort of but no real personal stuff, other than my painful pee. I laughed out loud a bunch of times at my 18 years old self. I've changed so much and I haven't changed that much. I still bitch and moan about random stuff and in the same sarcastic manner as I ever did. It was also funny to see what mundane "problems" I had and what I wasted my time worrying about. I'm sure when I'm 38 I'll re-read my blog entries and laugh at myself again. I enjoyed my stroll down memory lane. But then it got me thinking about other stuff and pondering philosophical stuff like 'why are we here' and 'what's it all about' and so on. I heard this lady on the radio the other day talk about this 2 week vow of silence she took and how crazy hard it was at first and by the end she had learned to calm her mind and clear it of the unnecessary debris that was cluttering it. I need to do this. But I have a full time job that won't allow me to not speak. In August everyone and I mean everybody will be back and chaos and drama will ensue again. I don't know if I should enjoy my quiet time or relish in all the fun that will come back with all the vacationed folks I'm missing so much. see...always more questions and silly problems.