'it figures' is my middle name

Went to traffic school weekend before last and paid my debt to society. $120 for four hours of traffic jeopardy and a silly video where this old guy took out another driver with a harpoon in a bout of road rage! Last Tuesday was my court date. Very interesting how they the court system works. Six different city courts all lined up in rooms and when you walk in you get to see all the other jerks who messed up and got caught by the popo. Probably 50 people in there waiting to see the judge. Some of these people were in jeans and tank tops and I remember thinking 'is that seriously how you dress to go meet a judge, jackass?' Most of them walked right up and either pleaded guilty and assessed a fine or they pled not guily and got another court date. Everything from DUI to Boating DUI and one kid had window tint that was too dark (been there, done that, paid that $40 fine) and he woulda had to pay $125 if he hadn't fixed it. Two different kids under 21 for DUI. One guy had aggrevated driving and no license or registration and was drunk and he didn't even speak english. Prime example of why it is sometimes a good idea to block the borders. His fine was $450 for just one his violations. So I finally get called up and when I get up to show the judge my proof of insurance he says to me "good afternoon miss krackuh" and I say "uh, no, it's miss cracker' and he says "what's that?" and I say "my last name is cracker, not krackuh, the officer spelled my name wrong." He asked to see my license then handed it back to me and told me he was dismissing my ticket. Didn't even bother with my proof of insurance. Both charges dropped. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! Seriously couldn't have planned that if I had tried. Everyone in the court room was like "oh man, no fair, she's so lucky" Don't get me wrong I am tickled pink that I "beat" the system but the system beat my by getting my $120 and four hours on a Saturday! Now if I do get stopped again I can't go to traffic school to excuse the ticket cause I've already been. I asked my friend Joe, who's an ex-NYPD cop, what are the chances they throw my ticket out for the error in my name? He said probably wouldn't happen. He said if this was the 80's then yes but now days they don't care if they made a mistake. Apparently he was wrong. Had I just bothered to ask the police department directly I probably could've avoided traffic school and court. But knowing my luck they would've had me take my ticket in so they could issue a corrected one so ,really, there would've been no winning for me. Still I had to try. So I wrote my traffic school instructor an email:



I was in your class this past Saturday. I had court today for my proof of insurance violation and the judge ended up throwing out the ticket because the officer wrote my ticket out to Romanian Krackuh instead of Cracker. So if I do happen to get another ticket in the next two years my free pass has now gone out the window, right? I guess if I had known that this was a possibility I wouldn't have taken the course. Had I not taken the course and then shown up to court and he didn't throw it out then the judge would have made me pay the ticket and I would now have points on my license. I even stayed after I got my certificate to ask you about my name on my ticket but then figured you turn in the citation number and not the name. Any input?

A few days later he wrote back:

Yes, you are right. We just send in the citation number. Unfortunately this is the dilemma that everyone is faced with, when they receive a traffic citation. Either go to court in the hope of winning your case or just go to driving school and not asses (he spelled asses not assess, ...hahahah.....sorry) any moving violation points. Alot of times it is better to just go to school. The fee you pay for school is cheaper than paying for a traffic violation. In your case, if the judge would have found you to be at fault. You would have spent at least 200 to 400 dollars in fines. Plus the points added to your record. Sorry for the late response. If you have any more questions feel free to write back.

What does he care? He already got his $120. So anyway it just figures. I mean it really does. This sort of thing always happens to me. I know I should be happy but really it's just another reminder of how much the universe likes to kick you when you're down.