tough day

Had to take Shadow in today to have her put down. Very hard day for me. I knew it was coming and I know I did the right thing but it's still very hard. She's had a difficult week. She really hasn't eaten in a few weeks and was just fur and bones. She weighed 50lbs most of her life and this morning she was down to 37lbs. Doesn't sound like a big difference but I am assured it was a big decrease for her breed. She hasn't been able to stand very well this last week. Her hips probably couldn't support her weight because she had no muscle left at all. When she walked one leg would give out and she'd just collapse. She was trying to eat some food a few nights ago and she knocked her bowl off it's stand and so Chad helped hold her food up to her mouth while I held her up to eat. I knew we were close now. This morning she wasn't standing at all. I picked her up and held her in my lap for a while. She didn't put up any sort of fight like she normally would when I tried to snuggle with her. At lunch time I walked in the kitchen to find her slumped over in the doggy door with one paw out the door. She couldn't even get herself outside. I started crying and called the doctor. I had to carry her to the car and again inside to the vet's office. I put up her up on the table and sat and waited. I was crying and she came over and licked my tears off my face. She was afraid but didn't struggle. It didn't take long at all. They said up to a minute but I think it was something like 8 seconds before she died. I hope I did the right thing but putting my animal to death. It seems like it shouldn't be up to me to make that decision. The dr. didn't try to talk me out of it at all. I stayed with her body for 20 minutes and kept hoping she would perk up and give me one more lick on the face. I had her for 13 years. She was my mother's dog. I have a frame in my head of her running up to my mom and them walking off together. It's a bit too much to take today. I miss my Shadow.