It's a good thing I ain't famous

In my lazy stupor today I was watching one of the silly shows on E! About famous people and all their silly habits. They did a montage (I love a good montage) about all these top celebrities caught scratching their private parts or other less interesting body parts. They had a picture of Michael Douglas picking his nose while reading the news paper and I thought to myself "hey, that could have been me!" (except the part about reading) "it's a good thing I don't have to worry about poporazzi! So I guess life really does have some hidden blessings after all!!! Although a customer did catch me picking my nose the other day but I was in my office alone so he should've been the embarrassed one, not me, and I wasn't so it's all good.

there's a tear in my beer

Well I am still driving the Neon. 1 days turned in to 5 so far and I hate that car. I just want my baby back. So now I am locked to my house because I have to pay for all the gas I use (I know it's no differnet, shut-up) and that's crap and all in all it's just no fun to drive. It's an automatic so I can fall asleep any time from boredom. There's no window tint so my face is always on fire by the time I get home. I feel like a big dork in it. This is the kinda car I used to drive when I was a poor kid. I am now a less poor adult. I can afford to do better. Damn the speedometer fix-it man.

apples and dodges

So I take my car in for an oil change and also for a small piece I need replaced in my speedometer. they tell me 2 hour wait max. then they tell me "oh we will need to send it out so that they can calibrate the speedometer and in the mean time we will give you a rental at our expense." fine, great, whatever. I'm under warranty for 1000 more miles so now is the time to get it done. well I don't expect much in my rental car so imagine my surprise when they pull up in an Inifnity. "sweet" I thought. But ofcourse it was not for me. I end up in the Dodge Neon POS. Jereme (my sales associate) tells me "yeah we try to keep you in a car comprable to what your driving now." Really? Cause the last time I looked a Dodge Neon looks nothing like, nor does it perform anything like my Eclipse. Clearly a matter of opinion but I will say that I am right because, well, I always am. Anyway they inform me that I have to pay for the gas and any insurance I may choose to use. I agree to the full insurance and I guess I refill the tank to what I use? I don't know but when Jereme checked the gas gage he marked it as being half full when it was already well below the half way mark when I got in and drove away. Th ose bastards better not try to get me to for more then what I used cause my happy face will turn in to scary face and then in to whoop your ass face. I don't get ugly with strangers but if it needs to be done... and if we're talking about charging me 3.16/gallon then we're gonna have words.

standards... that's all we have

Why can't people be bothered to put away their cell phones when buying something at my store? Why can't they take turn off thier ipods/cd players and listen when I'm talking instead of pointing to their ears and giving me the "oh sorry I didn't hear you" bit? Why have manners just gone straight down the toilet? I will get women talking to their cell phones as loud as anything so that everyone can hear them and we will complete an entire transaction and they wouldn't have looked up at me or said a single word to me the entire time. That's soooo rude! I have this one kid who comes in almost daily for Oreo's and he has yet to say one word to me in the 2+ years I have been waiting on him. He's always got his ipod running and can't be bothered to say hello or thank you. Bastard. I don't walk around blabbing all day on my cell but if by some chance I do have someone on the line, I always hang up and call them back when it's more convenient. I try not to use it in my car if at all possible so I don't crash in to the driver in front of me because I am too busy looking at my phone and not the road.
On the other hand I don't like it when people are too overly friendly. If someone is nothing but smiles and praise for a pack of gum then you gotta know they are up to something. I have one customer who says thank you after everything I tell her. She's so positive and friendly and cheery all the damn time you just want to shake her. I'm sure she follows the philophy 'get back what you put out' but good grief she takes it too far. I don't trust the overly friendly, just a thing I have.
Then there are those girls who wear flip-flops that don't pick up their feet when they walk and their shoes smack the bottom of their feet. Oh my god that annoys the holy fuck out of me. That's more of a pet peev than a bad manners thing but I thought since I was unloading I'd throw that in.

killing me softly

While sitting at lunch yesterday I hear these two 5 year olds talking about important matters. no, actually kid #1 asks kid #2 which she liked better, McDonals or Burger King? And we wonder why obesity is such a huge problem in this country. Good God, I was disgusted. Sometimes at work I here mother's negotiate chicken mcnuggets for good behavior and their 2 years olds know that quittign their tantroms gets them fast food. Appauling! Reinforcing bad behavior with bad habits. Don't get me wrong I enjoy fast food but I am an adult and rarely indulge in the salty delights of McDonalds as I know it will put me in to an early grave if eaten in such quantities as lots of americans do. I highly recommend watching Super Size Me. Rent it tonight people!! It should change your mind on what you put in your body everyday and if it doesn't then get some insurance cause I heard gastric bypass is expensive.

my hello kitty easter eggs, I hate easter but I love hello kitty and eggs, they're pretty good too. 

my first rose from the bush Chad planted for me. 

Now what?

Well Amy has finally left and so far I have kept it together. I thought I'd be a basket case by today but not so much. Kristian is doing well and he's almost as goofy as Amy so the transition is easy. I think it's easier cause I've been mentally preparing for this since October when she told me she was moving away. Like Gloria Gayner said "I will survive." That's all I have to say about that, hmm kay.

This is us on Friday night at Jackie's party. I love my girls. 

now, Amy doesn't like this pic but I love it and since hardly anyone reads my blog I figured it was safe to post. 

This is my pervert face as I was loving on Jackie's dog. I wasn't trying to look like a creap but cameras have a way of catching you at just the wrong moment. Just call me Chester Molester! 

Amy' s mom is on the end, then Jackie, then fatty face me and then Amy is in front. We went out for pampering to celebrate Amy's little left bachelorett status. 

Who's that girl with a perky butt?....

It's Me, It's Me!! So yeah I would never condone diet or exercise or even diet and exercise but who the hell knew it would help me lose weight!! Have you heard about this? Fascinating. All these years I've been completely against exercise mainly because of my under cover identity... lazy girl.... but I've been working out 3 times a week now for a month and I have to say I am starting to see results. My love handles are slowly disappearing, my thighs are tighter and more toned and my belly button is starting to look take a circle shape again instead of a straight line. BUT tonight I noticed, as I was getting out of the shower, that my butt is just ever so much perky!!!
Now I still don't condone diet but little changes have helped. I've cut my beer comsumption way way way down and I also have stopped drinking soda. I didn't drink that much before but I've just completely stopped. Sure I have one every now and again but I've made progress and besides moderation is the key homeys! Word.
that's me on cloud 9!

Traffic silliness

I apologize for being a bad blog master as I have had nothing interesting to say. This morning I was driving to work and I took a look to my left to see this school bus and I took a look at the driver and wouldn't you know it she was this stereotypical figure of how I see most school bus drivers. I took the bus most of my years until I got to high school and they were always the same. Some white trash woman with big bangs and bad skin. I laughed and took a trip back in time when I saw this driver today. I had one driver that was so mean like the driver on South Park, I mean exactly like that. She'd yell "sit down" every chance she got and we all quivered in fear when we were on the bus.
I was late because the freeway was backed up with what I thought was a bad accident. Well when I got up to the scene it was on the opposite side of traffice and they had already removed the cars and all that was left was one cop and a tow truck driver who was cleaning up tiny bits of debris from the side of the road... who the hell cares about that? and why did it slow me down 10 minutes if there was nothing to look at? The north bound traffic was backed up even worse then we were and there wasn't even any accident scene to speak of. Why do people not think of others? If you want to gawk at someone else's bad day on the road then pull over and stare all you want but the rest of us need to get somewhere and it's not fair the chain you start by your ignorant need to know what's going on. So then all the idiots behind you need to watch cause they have nothing else to do while they come to a complete stop ( how about keep your eyes on the road so we can get the hell out of this jam, gee there's a novel idea.)