December 26? When the hell did it turn in to December?

Well another xmas has come and gone and once again I am feeling the financial burden. Actually I did go very lite this year. I limited myself to practical gifts and didn't over spend. I did overspend on food however, and not only that but I am eating and drinking it all in record time. I have eaten more ham in the last 3 days than I have in the last two years. I getting a plate full like every 4 hours.

Oh I got good news back from the doctor. No liver failure!! Yea!!! my first test was probably a fluke (flook? idon't know) although the second test didn't come back competely spotless. Remember I said that a normal reading was 15 to 40, well mine still came back at 80 but that was a drastic improvement from 195. I asked what the numbers mean. They measure enzymes in the liver. Too high a number means the liver is having to work too hard on clearing out what ever pissed it off. It had to have been all the aspirin I was popping when I threw my back out in October and in to November. Well I am aspirin free now but still have to take blood pressure meds every night. So I am not going to need any of your livers, thanks for offering!
What does "gelt" mean?

Bring it on...it's already been broughten!

The old lady is back. She got here last Sunday and so far I am sane but only cause I've been pre-planning my battle plan. I brought her home the first night on the long route home so she could see how "isolated' we are out here and that we can't go to 5 different grocery stores in a matter of minutes. The old neighborhood (you know, the ghetto) had every major shopping outlet within 5 miles of the house. Now she thinks we've only got Wal-mart and Bashas. Phase 2 of my plan is not to bring in the mail. Yes, we get more advertisments in the mail than actual mail so if she can't see the ads she won't get the idea of who has what sale and when. Brilliant! So far so good but I know she will find a way around me so I have to stay on my toes. BUT, she may be going home in January, a whole month and a half earlier than usual because she has to rent out her house and so my sanity may not suffer so much this year.

small opinion pole

What does the word ever mean? I hear the phrase "best__ ever" does that mean nothing will ever be as good as this thing or does it mean everything up until now hasn't been the best but it's only going to continue getting even better? I ask because you could use the term "best___yet" which to me says "wow, that was the best___ ever but I have hopes that something even better could happen. Ever, to me, means nothing is ever going to top this so just give up now. What do you think?

These are a few of my least favorite things

In keeping with the Christmas spirit I thought I would share a list of my least favorite things. I am normally an optimistic (hey, shut up I am being serious) person but you may wonder
"hey, why does JoJo bitch and moan so much?"
well my dedicated readers, it's just no fun to write about puppy dogs and warm apple pie. You wouldn't like it and I wouldn't like it. After all aren't blogs mostly for people to share their angst with the world? exactly.

So here we go...
1. People who mumble or don't pick up their feet when they walk.
Really we aren't dragging our knuckles on the ground anymore. Straighten up and speak clearly.

2. The term baby's daddy/mommy
God if I have that's the direction our country is going in then I am moving to Canada (and taking over but you've already read about that)

3. False advertising
If you're telling me you're going to give me half off when I come and spend money in your store I expect just that. Don't give me some lousy coupon that I have to come back and spend in one week or it expires. To quote a jerky boy "Coupon?... my family is dying and you give me coupons?"


4. Tom Cruise
Yeah I already blogged about hating him but he really is a crazy jerk. Although we watched Collateral last night, that movie kicked ass, but I still hate Tom Cruise.


5. When celebrities back convicted murderers to try and keep them from their execution. I tell you what... if that guy had killed Jamie Foxx's family, Jamie Foxx wouldn't be posing for pictures with him.

6. When I am blogging and trying to find the right emoticons for it and then having them actually place where I want them
.

That's all for now but I want to share a few things I like just so you don't think me a sour puss all the time.
1. Disneyland. Damn right it's the happiest place on Earth
2. That Kanye West song Golddigger
3. Lost, it just may be the best TV show EVER!!! but I repeat myself.
4. Lazy Sundays. Sleeping in and then napping a few hours after waking up.
5. Quoting the same hilarious movie lines with friends. The timeless classics like "when Mr. Bigglesworth gets angry people die!"

Aren't I a bundle of joy? Don't answer that.

I ate her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti

Oh ewww yourself. I got my test results back today and turns out my liver may not be top notch as I had once presumed. They measure the liver on some scale (didn't make much sence to me so bare with me) and when he tested me last January it was measuring a 19. I gues anything below a 40 is good. So today mine came back at 195. Whoa is right. So Dr. Bhowra is having me re-tested and I also get to do an upper-abdomen ultra sound to figure out if this is a fluke or if he found something he wasn't even looking for in the first place. I also have a small leaky heart valve but he said that is not uncommon and he wasn't concerned with it at all. Then he mentioned that when I first started going to him back in 2000 I only weighed 138lbs and now I weigh... well that doesn't matter. So I guess I got my $20.00 worth today!!

Bonding with my fellow man

After work I stopped at Wal-Mart to get some groceries and I had 15 items so I got in the 20 items or less line. Well, I was 3 people behind and the woman at the register had 40+ items. The girl in front of me said "she's got more than 20 items"
and I said
"clearly those signs are for decoration"
then this couple gets in line behind me and I tell them
"that woman has like 40 things in her basket" then the 3 of us start telling our best long line stories from Wal-Mart.
See, people, this is what happens when you demand more blogging. I have to blog about my trivial crap because I simply don't have anything else to say.
Actually I do. have you ever stopped to consider what would happen if everybody loved eachother? The other day I was thinking how rare it is to find love. The chances of you liking someone at the same time they like you and then having anything come of it is all in good timing. Then I thought
"what would it be like if you liked everyone you met?" That would suck. If every time you saw someone new you thought
"I just have to talk to that person."
You'd never get a break. You have to be nice all the time and buy xmas gifts for like a gazillion people. You'd go horse cause you'd have way too many people to chat with. Not to mention the sheer re-production would over croud this country so fast that we'd all be nut-to-butt all the time. Ewww. That's why I hate everyone. It's so much easier that way.

This is my REDRUM. I thnk it's lovely. I didn't get the greatest pic but the whole point was to show the color not my messy closet. 

What... me worry?

Sorry I have been slacking in the blog department. I have tried to keep myself busy otherwise I find myself on the couch watch too much VH1. I painted my bedroom half red. It's like we're in a giant candy apple (atleast facing west and north.) I got my xmas tree up for the first time in 3 years because I finally have the room for it. I've been going to my doctor a lot, not so much because I'm sick but mostly because his staff are a bunch of raging bitches (that's a whole nother blog in itself) and they can't do anything for me even though they get paid to do it for me. I expect to get my full $20.00 each and every time I go in to that office. Dr. Bhowra is trying to figure out why my blood pressure is not going down even with medication. I had an ultra sound, blood work and I never scheduled my MRI appointment mainly because I ran out of time before my follow up visit this week. I really don't think they are going to find anything. I think the combination of my DNA and my super powerful brain is just going to raise my blood pressure. I want to learn how to meditate and have been looking in to classes. They have an 8 week class at GCC that I want to get in to. I think that if I can learn to shut off my brain for 30 minutes a day and combine that with more activity that it will help. I feel that I am super easy going and for the most part not much gets me down. Then there are times, like when I am driving, I feel so enraged and ready to shoot the guy next to me for not paying attention that I second guess my first statement. I also worry. ALL THE TIME, WORRY. about anything...everything...ALL THE TIME. If your close to me you know this to be true but if you're not so close than you might be saying to yourself right now
"Jojo is so cool and collected all the time. she must be talking about someone else!"
but it's true. just call me Worry McWorrington. or Hooty McBoob (that's what Chad calls me.)